Family Therapy
The family life cycle is complicated and filled with a range of emotions. Many adult children want their parents to see them as independent adults but parents have a hard time letting go. When a parent is not able to see their adult child as an adult, they may infantilize them. This means they treat their adult child as much younger than they are thus making the adult child feel frustrated and resentful. There are many layers to this dynamic that need to be addressed. Another complicated dynamic is aging parents and the responsibility an adult child might feel to care for their aging parents. This dynamic becomes more complicated when there is unresolved issues between the parent and adult child. These dynamics are common especially in immigrant families. Many immigrant parents derive worth from their kids depending on them and when their kids no longer need that kind of support, it can feel confusing for the parents. They may no longer know to how show up or support their kids in a different life stage.
How are sessions with my family going to help?
Most families are not prepared for the emotional transition from childhood to adulthood. When kids become adults and parents become older parents, the roles change as well. It is hard to watch your parents slow down and it is normal to feel resentful if you don’t feel ready to take on more responsibility in the family. You also know that your parents will continue to be a big part of your life so finding better ways to communicate is necessary. In our sessions, we teach about the family life cycle and tailor it to the family. We identify what dynamics are toxic and find new ways to connect.
What is the role of a family therapist?
Our team at Space to Reflect offers culturally sensitive family therapy to ensure everyone in the family feels heard. The goal is to increase understanding but maintain respect when it comes to cultural and generational differences. Each family member has their own way of making sense of their family history and roles. While the differences in reality may vary drastically, our team will create a safe space for families to communicate and get to a better place with each other.
What typically happens in family therapy?
We get everyone together. Everyone gets a voice. We hear each other for the first time. We cut through the drama to solve the problem. In a family system, it is usually not just one person’s fault despite what everyone says. Everyone plays a part in solving the problem.
What do families talk about in family therapy?
Address harmful dynamics
Plan caregiving for aging parents
Heal past hurts between parents and adult children
Heal family trauma
Learn better conflict resolution
Adjust to changing family roles
Build empathy for each other
When is it time for family therapy?
When people can’t agree on who is causing the problem. Everyone has had their own therapy and the problem still exists. Family therapy is the next step to help heal family issues.
What if one family member does not want to participate in family therapy?
Family therapy sessions are usually a combination of family members and this can vary each session. If one member is against therapy, the other members can still start sessions and this may normalize the process for resistant members. Resistant members can join family therapy sessions and choose not to participate as a way to begin building trust in the process. We want to ensure everyone feels safe, heard, and validated and we recognize that this process looks different for each person.