Managing Expectations as Students of Color
With the start of the semester underway, it’s important to be able to manage our own expectations as students of color. This can be done through self-kindness, setting realistic goals and being transparent with your parents.
It is important to take some time to be intentional about how we treat ourselves as students. You probably already feel pressure from outside sources such as professors or parents so it is crucial to be intentional about how you talk to yourself throughout the semester. Try and practice positive self-talk.
Self-talk, also known as intrapersonal communication, can have lasting negative effects so we want to counteract that by finding new and creative ways to promote self-kindness. Here are a few phrases you can use to practice positive self-talk throughout the semester:
“It doesn’t have to be perfect”
“I am enough”
“I am happy with what I have produced”
“I am doing well”
Eventually, we want to practice this type of intrapersonal communication in and outside of academic environments.
Another way we can build on this new coping skill of positive self-talk is by remaining realistic with ourselves as the academic year progresses. As students, we sometimes procrastinate and even go as far as avoiding academic commitments. It’s important to recognize when we may have done this in the past and make a plan to be more proactive. Realistic expectations can be set by having attainable goals for ourselves. For example, you can create a study group to have more accountability.
Lastly, as students of color we all know how difficult it can be to navigate the expectations of our parents. Whether they tell you directly about what they expect of you (i.e. grades, internships, networking, career development), or they do so indirectly (comparing you to others), this impacts our mental health and sense of self. Parents have a way of letting us know how much they’ve sacrificed. It’s essential to keep in mind that although we can be grateful for everything our parents have done for us, we do not owe them for their choices. You can establish and practice self-efficiency as well as autonomy in a respectful manner, as not to offend your parents.
Here are a few more way students of color can manage their own expectation:
Positive Affirmations: you can utilize it as a way to implement positive self-talk into your everyday routine.
Communicate Problems and Issues: if you are running into an issue or need help, share it with faculty or an advisor. We can not expect help from people who don’t know what’s wrong.
Seek a mentor of color: find someone who could maybe relate to your experience as a POC in academia.
Utilize Calendars and Reminder Apps: try to be as organized as possible. Accountability partners are great but it’s also important to learn self accountability. There are so many great productivity apps out there.
Seek mental health services: Therapy can help with managing anxiety and stress. Our school counseling center is great place to start. If you are looking for a therapist of color, Space to Reflect offers reduced fee services for students. Learn about our therapists here.
Always remember, you are more than your grades and your productivity. You are enough.