Managing Expectations As Parents of Color
As a parent of color, sometimes you may feel pressured to parent a certain way and to teach your child certain things. That pressure can be influenced by generational trends in reference to diet, education, manners, religion, discipline, etc., and this pressure can be compounded by trauma and the influence of others' - such as your parents, your in-laws, other family, friends and sometimes even complete strangers. One major challenge when managing expectations as a parent of color can be receiving unsolicited parenting advice. Let’s talk about some ways to combat unsolicited advice.
How to Handle Unsolicited Advice as a Parent
When people give you unsolicited advice, remember you don't have to take it. Often it's well-intentioned, but that may be an extension of their experience with parenting and may or may not be in line with your experience. Make it a point to acknowledge it and assert your stance, with statements such as:
"We have that figured out"
"We're happy with the way we do it."
"Thanks for the heads up/advice, we'll look into it."
"I'll look into that as an option if/when we see fit."
"That's something I'll talk to our child's teacher/counselor/pediatrician."
There are several other ways to navigate the pressures of parenthood. If you struggle to assertive yourself in these situations, be sure to contact us for more tips and resources.