What do People get wrong about Compatibility in a Relationship

Compatibility can mean a variety of things. For some couples, compatibility means “my partner understands me deeply and we share the same values and beliefs.” For other couples, compatibility means “ I can have a good time with my partner.”

What people get wrong about compatibility in a relationship is that they often only think about it in one dimension, like the examples above. When we focus on one aspect of compatibility, we neglect other important aspects of compatibility and are quick to move on from someone because we think we are not compatible enough.

How do you know if you are compatible with someone?

Here are some ways to be compatible with someone:

1. Physical- we have great sexual chemistry

2. Emotional- we feel understood by each other

3. Social- we understand and support each other’s social needs

4. Values/Beliefs- we understand each other’s values and beliefs even if they are different

The good news about compatibility is that it can be worked on a relationship. Some couples are naturally more compatible without effort and for most couples, it takes work. This isn't a bad thing though!

Signs of good compatibility in a relationship:

1. Empathy

2. Flexibility

3. Forgiveness

4. Admiration

5. Work well together

We aren’t born with these qualities, they are learned behaviors which means they can be taught and practiced. Let go of the idea that compatible means you are perfect for each other and you do everything the exact same way. Compatible means you feel safe in your relationship to let your partner be themselves without making it about you.