What To Do If You Feel Guilty for Ending a Relationship

You ended your relationship and now the guilt sets in. You are second guessing your decision. Was it really that bad? Was I overreacting? Should I have stuck around longer?

Is it normal to feel guilty after ending a relationship?

It is normal to have these thoughts after a breakup and it is also normal to romanticize the relationship. When we grieving the end of a relationship, we experience a range of emotions from relief to anger and everything in between.

So what should you do if you feel guilty after ending your relationship? Let’s first define what guilt means. Guilt is the feeling we get when we think we did something wrong. For example, we may feel guilty for lying.

How do I stop feeling guilty for breaking up?

• Think about and write down the reasons why you ended the relationship. Whether your needs were no longer being met or you no longer felt a connection or you were tired of fighting, your reasons are valid.

• Get clear on what exactly you feel guilty about. We feel guilt when we think we did something wrong. Did you end the relationship in a way that was hurtful to your parnter? Did your partner feel blindsided by this decision? Did you make it seem like everything was fine until it no longer was? These all may be reasons to feel guilt for how you made your partner feel but not reasons for feeling guilty about the act of ending the relationship. We must treat ending the relationship and how you ended it as two seperate acts.

• Think about what would help you feel less guilty if you feel guilty for how you ended the relationship, Can you reach out and apologize for how you ended the relationship? Think about what kind of accountabilty you can take when it comes to HOW you ended the relationship.

Before you decide to take action, take some time to think about your decision and get clear on where that guilt is stemming from. You might be feeling guilty for prioritizing yourself and ending a harmful relationship but that is not something to feel guilt for. Everyone deserves to be in a happy and secure relationship and it is important that you acknowledge when a relationship is no longer making you feel this way.