Explaining Depression and Anxiety to Your Partner
If you’re struggling with anxiety or depression, you might be wondering how to open up to your partner about these experiences. Part of you may be worried that your partner will judge you, especially if you’ve only recently gotten into a relationship. Alternatively, if you’ve been dating your partner for a long time, you might be concerned that they’ll blame themselves for your depression or anxiety.
Yet despite your fears about sharing your experiences, it’s best to speak honestly about your mental health with your partner. If you’re in a healthy relationship, they will want to know how they can support you along your healing journey. Here’s how to talk about depression and anxiety with your partner.
Focus On Your Personal Experiences
Your partner might have certain assumptions about anxiety and depression based on media depictions, symptoms that their other friends or relatives experienced, or books they’ve read. That’s why it’s so important to talk about your unique experiences, the symptoms that you personally deal with, and anything that has helped you in the past. Speak with clarity about what you’ve been through. Take time to clear up any misconceptions your partner might have about your condition or symptoms.
Explain Why It Doesn’t Just “Go Away”
Everyone feels depressed or anxious sometimes. This is perfectly normal, and while these feelings are unpleasant, they are unavoidable parts of life.
But your partner might think that you only feel depressed or anxious in a temporary sense. They may assume that you’ll feel better soon. That’s why it’s crucial to explain that there are differences between experiencing moments of depression or anxiety and living with depression or anxiety as a clinical mental health condition.
Discuss How Small Things Can Spiral
When you’re dealing with depression or anxiety, one minor problem or inconvenience can send you into a spiral. People with these conditions can be prone to catastrophic, black-and-white thinking. For instance, making a small mistake at work could leave you fearing that you’re about to get fired. It can be tough to break out of these thought cycles. Ensuring that your partner understands this can help the two of you better navigate relationship conflicts.
Make It Clear That It’s Not Their Fault
If you tell your partner that you’ve been struggling with your mental health lately, they might worry that they’ve done something to cause it. Your partner may even feel guilty that they didn’t realize something was wrong on their own. Therefore, it’s very important to reassure your partner that they are not to blame for your condition.
You may want to share the roots of your anxiety or depression, explain how long you’ve dealt with it, or even talk about your family’s history in regard to mental health. Explain that while you will certainly appreciate and benefit from their support, they did not cause your mental illness.
Share How They Can Support You
Finally, having a transparent conversation with your partner about what they can do to help you is a good idea. This might include simply checking in with you to see how you’re feeling on a given day. The two of you might also want to commit to some healthy lifestyle changes together that boost your mood. You may even want them to attend a therapy session with you. While your partner cannot double as your therapist, they can definitely help you implement strategies you’ve learned in therapy in your daily life.
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Are you struggling to share your experiences with mental health with your partner? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to us to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.