Why We Struggle To Set Boundaries

Why is setting boundaries so uncomfortable?

While there may be various reasons why people struggle with setting boundaries such as environmental enablers, learned helplessness, social conditioning , etc; not knowing how to set boundaries is often the biggest reason people don't set them.

We aren't all taught how to set boundaries and are often conditioned to say yes. And it is often more culturally and socially appropriate to go with the flow and not against the grain. But we are here to remind you and it is both okay and necessary to set some firm boundaries to protect your mental health.

How can I start to set boundaries?

Here are 3 things to consider to set boundaries in your life.

1. Ask for Time

   When you are asked to complete a task or extended an invite and you are unsure of whether or not you want to partake, ask for time to consider your options. Extra time will allow you to assess the importance of the activity/event/task and give you the time necessary to communicate the level in which you wish to participate (if you choose to).

2. Practice Saying No

   There are other ways to say no, without saying no. Here are some examples of what you can say:

   "Thanks for the consideration, I unfortunately cannot partake."

   "I am overcommitted at this time and will not be able to attend."

   And remember, when you say no to one time, you are keeping your time and energy preserved for your priorities.

3. Know Your Why

   Be sure to know your “why” because it makes setting boundaries easier. This is often an extension of your core values and can change time to time. Core values can include self growth, friendships, inner harmony, autonomy, etc.

All in all, the most important piece to boundary setting is about living true to you.