Why might someone stay in an unhealthy relationship?

Most of us get into relationships looking for lasting love, connection, and romance. Healthy relationships take work and sometimes we come to the tough conclusion that a relationship is no longer sustainable yet we still struggle to take action and leave. Here are 9 reasons why people stay in unhealthy relationships:

1. Fear of Loneliness

One of the most common reasons people stay in unhealthy relationships is the fear of being alone. It is easier to live in a familiar environment than it is to start over especially if you have been in a relationship for a long time.

2. Low Self-Esteem

People with low self-esteem feel this is the best they can do and feel unworthy of something healthier.

3. Financial Dependence

If one partner is financially dependent on the other, leaving the relationship might not feel like an option.

4. Children and Family Responsibilities

People will often stay in relationships to keep the structure and stability of the home for the kids. Unfortunately, kids pick up on the tension in the home even if parents choose not to fight in front of their children.

5. Social Pressure

Many cultures look down upon divorce, pressuring people to stay in unhealthy relationships. People who come from collectivist cultures might worry about what others will think or how this decision might impact their family.

6. Hope for Change

Many people stay in relationships hoping their partner will change. They cling onto the good times and will often say things like “when things are good, they are really good and when they are bad, they are really bad”. This might seem like a normal dynamic but the unpredictability causes stress for both partners.

7. Emotional and Psychological Manipulation

When one partner exerts control over the other partner, this can psychologically break down a person’s confidence and self esteem, making them feel like they have no way out.

8. Fear of Starting Over

The thought of starting over with someone new or getting back into dating can be overwhelming. It takes times to build a new relationship and for many people that feels unattainable.

9. Lack of Support

When a person does not have a solid support system, leaving a relationship can be very daunting. Without support, this person might second guess their decision causing more internal chaos.

If you or someone you know has been trying to leave an unhealthy relationship, the first step is empathy and understanding. It is important that people feel they have a safe space to explore and figure out what exactly they need. It is also helpful to talk with a therapist to get to the underlying issues of the unhealthy dynamics.

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