What does Depression in Men Look Like?
In such a fast paced society, many signs of depression and similar mood disorders can go unnoticed, especially in men. When we think of depression, many things come to mind: feeling down, helpless and even hopeless. Depression can cause a loss of interest in things once enjoyed, social isolation, and changes in sleep and appetite. But what sets being a man dealing with depression apart?
Access to diagnosis can be limiting when it comes to men for a number of reasons. First and foremost, not being able to identify it. This happens when we aren’t able to distinguish symptoms of depression from everyday life stressors. Secondly, hiding the signs and symptoms from yourself and others. This may look like being in denial about how sad and unlike yourself you feel, it can be scary to even admit something like that to ourselves.The downside to that is ignoring meeting your own emotional needs will only make things worse. Next, not wanting to talk about it. Being transparent about having heavy feelings like sadness and emotional pain is easier said than done for most men. The tools needed to talk about depression usually aren't there, such as pertaining language and if they are, there’s shame around saying something like that aloud even to those closest to us. Lastly, there’s reluctance to get help. There’s a strong stigma of men receiving mental health treatment so it’s difficult to expect them to seek out what they need. Seeking out treatment may bring up fears of potentially damaging their career or feeling long-lasting embarrassment from their peers. Depression, like a few other mental health disorders, can have lasting effects on your daily life (i.e. work, relationships, self-image). It’s typically associated with feelings of uncontrollable sadness and tends to be diagnosed in women more than it is in men. But why is that and how easily can it be spotted?
What are the common symptoms of depression in men?
Some common symptoms men deal with while depressed are anger, irritability or aggressiveness, here are a few distinct ways depression shows up solely for men:
Throwing themselves into work or sports: this acts as a way to escape those heavy and taxing emotions that could lead to public outbursts.
Body Pain: chronic issues such as headaches, stomach aches, constant fatigue.
Issues with substance use: excessive drugs and/or alcohol consumption. This may look like not knowing your alcohol tolerance, getting black out drunk.
Misplaced Emotions: when agitated, it’s very easy to take that frustration out on the wrong person, a man dealing with depression might do that subconsciously.
Risky Behavior: this might look like gambling away savings, driving recklessly, sexual promouscuity and more.
Moreover, anger is a secondary emotion, which means it’s not usually what the person is truly feeling. Typically, it’s internalized feelings of pain, fear or even deep sadness. Anger can also be a secondary emotion for envy, traumatic experiences, hurt, regret, grief, loneliness, hopelessness, anxiety, and Feelings of stress.
Keep this in mind: the next time you find yourself upset about something that may be out of your control, question it.
How to cope with depression?
Furthermore, to combat all of the things standing in the way of men gaining access to diagnosis of depression and the mental health treatment that could help them we have to curate safe spaces to encourage them to open up about those tough issues and share. There are many ways the symptoms of depression can be coped with. The obvious one is seeking out mental health treatment via psychotherapy (individual or group). Additionally, setting realistic goals for oneself, identifying a support system, managing stress level via meditation or other mindfulness exercises are just a few more things that can be done. Taking that first step forward will not always be easy but ultimately it could potentially lead you back to feelings like yourself.
Consequently, here are few more common symptoms of depression to look out for in yourself and others:
Constant Fatigue & Anger/Irritability
Social Isolation & Low Sex Drive
Excessive Drinking/Drug Use
Issues Focusing & Apathy/Numbness
Body Aches & Thoughts of self harm
Feeling Hopeless & Loss of Appetite
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, please reach out to our team here or read more about therapy for men.