How to Stop Overthinking While Dating

Man and woman looking at each other at a table with their elbows touching.

Maybe you’ve just gotten over a recent breakup, and you’re jumping back into the dating scene. Or perhaps you’ve been dating for a while, and you’re struggling with the anxiety that comes with meeting new people and figuring out whether you’re really right for each other.

Dating can definitely be stressful. Even when you’re not out on a date, it’s not easy to stop overthinking every aspect of your romantic life. You might spend hours wondering if you really clicked with your date, or you may catch yourself checking your phone countless times throughout the day to see if that special someone texted you back. But dating doesn’t have to be so anxiety-inducing. Here’s how to quell your overthinking and relax while dating.

Spend Time With Your Friends And Family

When you’re actively dating, it’s all too easy to dedicate huge chunks of your time to scrolling on dating apps, chatting with new connections, planning dates, and, of course, going on dates. But if you’re dedicating so much time to dating, you might be neglecting important relationships with your friends and family. Keep making plans with your existing social circle, and focus on strengthening those bonds, too. By keeping those relationships at the forefront of your life, y

u won’t spend so much time stressing over your love life.

Put Your Phone Down

You might have several dating apps on your phone. The idea that if you just scroll or swipe for a few more minutes, you might connect with the love of your life can keep you glued to your phone for hours each day. If you do go on a date that seems promising, you might pick up your phone every couple of minutes to see if your date has reached out to you yet.

Block off some time each day to enjoy a few phone-free hours. You can put your phone in a drawer and turn off your notifications. You don’t have to ignore your dates, but you don’t have to be available at every hour of the day, either!

Stay Focused On Your Own Goals

Many people make the mistake of putting their own lives on hold while trying to find the right partner. You might be nervous about making significant lifestyle changes, like moving to a new city, when you’re single. But this can only fuel your dating anxiety. You’ll deal with additional stress because you feel like you need a partner to get permission to live fully. Don’t put your own needs on the back burner while dating. Put yourself first!

Listen To Your Gut

Do you ever come home after a date and spend hours wondering if your date was giving off red flags or merely yellow flags? Have you agonized over your own standards? When it comes to dating, listen to your gut. Don’t waste time stressing out over the wrong person. If someone is right, you won’t have to question the relationship endlessly.

Don’t Forget To Have Fun

Remember, dating can be a lot of fun! If you embrace dating as an opportunity to have a little fun while meeting new people, you won’t experience such high levels of anxiety. You’ll feel a little lighter, rather than putting pressure on every date to change your entire life. Plan dates around activities that you already enjoy, and treat every date like a potential new friend to enjoy your hobbies with. By shifting your mindset, you’ll be able to stop overthinking and make the most of dating.

Are you struggling to stop overthinking while dating? Working with a therapist can help. Reach out to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.