You might feel guilty setting boundaries with your parents. Here's why.

Picture this: You're at a family gathering, and out of the blue, you notice yourself reacting strongly to something a family member says or does. It's like a button was pushed, and you're not even sure why. These reactions often have deep roots, and they can be traced back to the invisible loyalty we feel toward our families.

So, what exactly is invisible loyalty?

In the world of family therapy, invisible loyalty refers to the often subconscious loyalty we have towards our family of origin. It's like an undercurrent, guiding our choices, decisions, and even the roles we take on in life, all in an effort to maintain a sense of balance or "homeostasis" in our original family system.

For instance, have you ever found yourself perpetuating a family tradition or belief, even if it doesn't align with your current values? Or perhaps you've refrained from surpassing a certain level of success because, deep down, you felt it might outshine someone in your family. That is invisible loyalty at play.

Why is it important to recognize?

Understanding our invisible loyalties can be helpful. By identifying them, we can make more informed decisions in our lives, ensuring we're not just operating on autopilot based on age-old family dynamics.

For couples, this is super relevant. Ever wonder why your partner gets extra touchy about a specific topic? Or why certain disagreements spiral out of control? It might be because there's a clash of invisible loyalties. By recognizing and discussing these loyalties, couples can bridge understanding and strengthen their bond.

Now, recognizing our invisible loyalty doesn't mean we're betraying our families. It's about gaining awareness, understanding the "why" behind certain reactions, and then making conscious choices that align with our personal growth and well-being.

If you ever feel trapped by family expectations or patterns, remember: you have the power to illuminate those invisible strings and decide how you want to engage with them. And if you need a little guidance? That's what our therapists at Space to Reflect are here for!

Schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation today.