Advocate for your Inner Child Around Family During the Holidays
How you relate to the holiday season can tell you about how you experienced them as a child. For many of us, the holidays can bring up complicated emotions and relationships you have with your family or loved ones. They can also shed light on how you wish this time of year went as a child so you may experience some grief over what you didn’t have. This can be fueled into how you want to feel during the holidays and how you can create that with your own needs and desires, particularly those you craved as a child during this time.
What is my inner child?
Inner child work is a form of healing within trauma-informed practices of therapy. It intends to create awareness of our true needs and feelings of when we were children. The work involves examining relationships you had with your caregivers as a child and bringing awareness to how they impact you today. Your inner child is the child-like part of you that is often reactive, vulnerable, and innocent and requires extra care and attention. Your inner child may show up around the holidays when you’re with your family or on your own.
How is my inner child triggered during the holidays:
Isolating yourself from others due to feelings of loneliness (for ex; saying ‘no’ to plans with your friends who you feel safe and comfortable with)
Feeling obligated to attend family gatherings (instead of wanting to attend)
Being emotionally reactive with your partner and getting into arguments (for ex: shutting down or raising your voice at your partner while talking about plans for the holidays)
Thinking about what this time “should” be like
How can I connect with my inner child?
Acknowledge your feelings. You may experience heavy emotions that make you sensitive around the holidays. Your inner child may have had a hard time expressing these emotions and was not able to identify what was going on.
Ask yourself —>
What’s coming up for me around this time?
Remind yourself that it’s okay to experience those feelings and that you're not alone.
Set boundaries with your family. You can have a complicated relationship with your family and want to spend time with them. It’s important to know that you’re able to choose when and how you spend time with your family.
Ask yourself —>
How much time do I want to spend around my family?
How much time do I want to spend decompressing or recharging after spending time with family/friends?
Plan activities you enjoyed doing as a child around this time. Encourage yourself to be playful and creative.
Ask yourself →
What did I enjoy as a child? When did I feel the most child-like? (think- creative, playful, or soothing activities)
Have some go-to grounding exercises in mind during the holidays. Some examples of some are:
Breathing exercise for when you’re feeling overwhelmed/overstimulated →
Take a deep breath in through your nose 5….4….3….2….1
Hold that breath for 3…2…1
Exhale slowly out the mouth 5…4…3…2…1
Repeat these slow, deep breaths as many times as needed
5 senses awareness exercise →
Think of:
5 things you see
4 things you touch
3 things you hear
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste
Weighted/heated blanket → this can help you feel present and alleviate anxiety.
Cup of tea or hot chocolate → can bring a sense of comfort and warmth.
Your inner child will be thankful for your advocacy and acknowledgement of their reality. The comfort that comes with awareness and care can help you find and create how you want to feel around the holidays. For more info and tips on getting through the holidays be sure to contact us!