5 Reasons Why You Might Be Conflict Avoidant
If you’ve ever found yourself skirting around an issue, biting your tongue, or just pretending everything’s fine when it's definitely not, you’re not alone! While avoiding confrontation can feel safer in the short term, it can also make it harder to build trust, maintain connection, and feel understood in relationships. Here are five common reasons why you might be conflict-avoidant.
You never witnessed healthy repair growing up.
If you never witnessed healthy repair after conflict , you might be afraid to express yourself if you are upset about something for fear that it will never get resolved. So you learn to internalize everything.
You want to keep the peace.
It feels safer to keep the peace than it does to bring something up. While keeping the peace seems like the safer option, you will eventually feel resentful or frustrated that nothing in your relationship has changed.
You are worried that the other person will abandon you.
Some people avoid conflict because they fear their partner will leave them. This could be because of past experiences or what they saw growing up.
You worry about the other person’s reaction.
You might be worried about how the other person will react if you are uncomfortable being on the receiving end of intense emotions.
You were never given the space to express your feelings as a kid.
If you grew up in a home where you were constantly shut down when trying to express emotions, you may be conflict avoidant. Even statements like “ don’t be upset, everything will be ok” can be very damaging. As an adult, you might not be able to handle your own intense emotions so you minimize them.
Conflict avoidance is common, and it’s okay to feel anxious about it. But remember, conflict isn’t a bad thing! It’s simply part of being in a relationship with others. By understanding the reasons behind your conflict avoidance, you can take small, manageable steps toward becoming more comfortable with open communication. And as you practice, you’ll likely find that those hard conversations bring you closer to the people who matter most.
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